Konstantin Genich

I used to be a professional football player, now I’m a professional commentator. How did it happen? I didn’t really have much choice. There was no place for me among those who sell sports gear and cars, so journalism was all there was left for me. I’ve always been remarkably talkative, both on the football field and beyond it. And I must admit, that helps a lot with my new job. I’ve always been friends with media and TV. I knew it would come in handy later on. And turns out I wasn’t mistaken.

Television can only be viewed as evil by those who know nothing about televisions. There are special buttons there which, if pressed correctly, can be very useful with finding all sorts of interesting things. Provided that you have an NTV-Plus dish. It’s only there that you can find all the interesting things.

It’s true what they say: if you dip your finger into professional football, you’ll find yourself covered in dirt up to your elbows. Or even something worse than just dirt. If you’re worried about dirt, live in a hospital, it’s always nice and clean there, or else become a football supporter, be negative about everything, blame everybody, and you’ll gain many friends and allies. Everyone always knows better when it comes to football. At least that’s what they think. Honest and decent people aren’t welcome here.

In my long football career, I was only benched once. It was a friendly match, and the referee was a woman — Natalya Avdonchenko. Girls don’t often show me red cards in my everyday life, but that was exactly what made me remember Natalya for the rest of my life. She was impossible to negotiate with, an extremely fastidious one.

Mastering the art of commentating is an ongoing process. For example, I often practise my skills when I’m stuck in traffic or when I’m standing in some queue — it’s where there’s always something worth commentating.

Apart from laughing, women’s football doesn’t really arouse any other emotions in me. We were once playing against a women’s team, but apparently hitting you on the legs is all they’re capable of. A horrible sight.

The best Russian commentator is Yuriy Rozanov. He’s unrivalled.

All the friends in my yard worshipped basketball and were the fans of Michael Jordan. They even tried to convert me to it, but I stood firm. Football and football alone. Besides, I wasn’t exactly the right height for basketball. Although my dad was a basketball player, and he, too, had his dreams of me becoming a playmaker in some decent team. But that I do feel the ball a bit better with my feet than with my hands is an undoubted fact.

All football players love cars. Same is true about me. I’d change cars every half a year if I could, just for fun.

The best car ever invented by the humanity is Mercedes S-Class. It’s a touchstone. Mega comfortable and enjoyable.

I couldn’t name a job I’d never agree to take up. If you really have to, you’d do anything, including sweeping yards and washing floors. Any labour deserves respect.

Relaxing must involve comfort. That would be in a bath with an issue of the PROsport magazine.