PHENOMENON: Glenn Quagmire’s syndrome

by LENA AVERIANOVA

I am not even sure when it happened, but once it just occurred to me: damn, my wonderful brutal man, I am involved in a steamy love affair with, to say the least, is in reality not a man who has never been married, but a perfect classic bachelor. A typical representative of his kind, a 40 year old gentleman with tattoos, a vast collection of porno and well-established ideas of women. It goes without saying that he is completely self-sufficient, generally satisfied with himself and damning right that he is completely “non-marriagable”.

Having got a clear idea on the fact that a mutual life with a bachelor is an everyday oxymoron, I do hope that I will be the exception, I will be the one he will feel like getting married to, this stuff been drawn from multiple touchy movies and tough literature. We almost never discuss the thing as the man having “I-will-never-get-married” like credo will really never deceive himself. He is having it ok inside, which is much more precious for him comparing to according to him questionable family life jollies. Well, I am for one not going to neither set my cap on him nor affect his theories.

Unfortunately the institute of marriage in our country is arranged to terminate any frivolity, openness and desire to accumulate sexual potential. That leads to the fact that most of divorced men are terribly dull, regardless of a tinge of dissipation, which in reality tends to speak for a certain degree of irresponsibility or even his assy nature
My whole life has always been impacted by great bachelors (my Dad is a perfect example), who have majorly formed my attitude to the opposite sex. Moreover they have invested into my understanding that a normal man will never want to live the whole of his life with one woman. Well, when he does, it’s either due to great love, or to fears, or to laziness.

An average man with an average size of brain and an average, let’s say size of his penis is in a constant search for a woman who can potentially meet his demands. Moreover this search is still in process within these so called “serious relationships”. It’s all about his fear to stop and to become marriagably bloated that urges him to perform various romantic desperations and senseless deeds. That is how the phenomenon of bachelors emerges. But let’s reserve the right to push the panic button to female women’s magazines. Bachelors are great. They are almost as great as gays. They make a kind of a community, full of desperation and fears, lust and unrealized fancies.